My guest, Theresa Vigarino is a transformational certified life coach, a spiritual teacher, author and professional speaker. Theresa’s work includes changing thought patterns through neuroscience. She is truly the epitome of joy, as you can hear by our conversation today. Her coaching programs are designed to assist women who are ready to live life to the fullest. She says “Just because life has been a certain way in the past doesn’t mean it has to be that way in the future.”
When I met Theresa at Tropical Think Tank in the Philippines, 2016, I knew we were kindred spirits right from the start. We were like magnets drawn to each other. I meet the most amazing people at these events.
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Repeating the Same Disappointing Cycles
Our subconscious mind is powerful. It is responsible for 80% of our daily decisions and behaviors. She says that if you really want to make a long lasting change or to transform a behavior you must hit it from every direction. The brain is diligent about keeping us stuck in patterns because old patterns are considered safe to this part of the brain. People do things over and over again because we have loops in our unconscious minds. Familiarity is safe.
Our mind can trick us but its sole purpose is to keep us safe. Theresa describes it as our subconscious mind being an outdated computer system and sometimes needing an upgrade. When we transform, we break through the firewall and update our core system.
Failed past relationships are not your conscious mind’s fault. During the initial stages of dating, our subconscious minds are looking for reference points in our past experiences. It’s rummaging through old files and movies and expects this situation to be like the last. It’s a massive projection. Sometimes we manifest our past again because we know we can handle that type of situation. We did it once, we can do it again. And then sometimes, we sabotage a relationship because we recognize certain triggers and because we don’t want to live through something again.
How Can Women Grow Into Their Spirituality?
Women should spend some time alone because women are prone to losing their identities in relationships. There is a difference in younger generations. They are a bit savvier but there is still a noticeable change during the start of relationships. It may be a natural way of being, but we are able to adjust. We should trust our internal compass, our guidance system that says “Hey wait a minute my spirituality is important to me and I’m not going to give it up for anybody”. It’s important for us to remember we are examples to our family members, to people we meet, and to everyone around us. Spirituality often means different things to different people. Good places to start your spiritual journey are by reading A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson and A Course in Miracles by Dr. Helen Schucman. If our souls are in alignment, we are better prepared for entering relationships.
How do we overcome our past beliefs which no longer serve us?
Trust issues can be overcome but it’s a real challenge to quiet the voice of fear. We need to understand there is a battle going on between our intuition and our mind patterns. When past triggers are pounding our conscious minds with thoughts and ideas which make us feel insecure, we have to choose new beliefs. There are exercises which deliberately create new brain patterns. You need to establish new patterns because if not you will revert back. Step out of the emotional response and observe your thoughts.
Both men and women go through the same experience of our conscious mind, relying on the filing system which is our subconscious mind to tell us how to act or respond. There are techniques which allow us to access our filing system. We can change, distort, add new and even delete these files. If you are an imaginative person you can create new files. If you do it in HD, you can implant memories in your brain and the brain cannot tell the difference.
Communication is the Key to Everything
There is something about loving another. Sharing love with another human being is a profound experience. We humans are vessels of love for the divine. The best gauge for your own development is in relation to someone else. Relationships cause us to grow.
Acknowledging our vulnerability, being open and practicing trust allow our relationships to grow deeper. A great relationship resource is the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s about open loving communication.
But What About When a Storm Hits?
Some of us, through no fault of our own, grow up in violence along with verbal and physical abuse. Unless we make a shift, those traumatic experiences will enter our adult lives and possibly the lives of our children. In Theresa’s case, she attracted abuse to her, but her faith in God and her dedication to working through the situation got her to where she is today. She reminds us that the great sages of the world celebrate the hard times because it is through the storms that we find understanding.
You are Not the Only One and You Are Not Crazy Either
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Big Announcement – We are planning a big event for September! The new Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live – An Affair with Joy. We will be working on self-love and loving our business from the inside out. There will be a private VIP dinner to celebrate my 50th birthday and the release of my new book. And, everybody who attends will go home with a copy. There is special early bird pricing right now, so sign up now.
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