People break up, relationships end and someone is bitter. Maybe both parties are angry. What happens next is predictable. One or both of them starts rallying the troops. Gearing up to divide and conquer in the quest for who keeps the friends or prove themselves right.
Yep, this shit keeps happening, even after 40. Our teenage years were just the training ground, and social media has changed the way the game plays out.
We’ve all got friends on Facebook, who have gone bat-shit crazy spewing the dirty details of their breakups. Worse, are the people who engage with the crazies. If you’ve recently separated from someone, you shared a loving relationship with, you may be on the verge of entering into this situation. Especially when you continue to stay connected with them on social media.
After the breakup, former lovers see things differently. They have different versions of what happened, what is fact and fiction. It doesn’t mean they are correct, or their facts are accurate. These various ways of looking at things probably showed up during the relationship, when you were too in love to notice or chose not to. The one and only truth in every break up is this:
You are exes for a reason, remember this.
Hopefully, you have a life outside of social media – if you don’t, no worries, keep coming back and we’ll help you turn things around.
For now, stop trying to get your ex to share your version of the truth. Don’t defend yourself, don’t attack, don’t engage. It’s not about them. You’re not going to teach them anything so stop trying!
It’s all about you now.
Get clear on your truth and if you share anything, share only that!
I know it’s not easy. Our natural instinct is to want to make sure whatever people are saying about us is true and to defend ourselves when it isn’t. And yet, no matter what we do or say, we can’t control what other people think or perceive. So stop trying!
You’re starting over, and you’re not alone – unless you choose to be. It’s time to focus on you and to get to that place of freedom and joy you deserve.
Are you ready?